Day 100: Inspire others at TEDxHouston

What's the challenge?

To speak at TEDxHouston on October 18th, 2015

What are you afraid of?

Besides the inevitable fear of public speaking at such event, I'm afraid of not inspiring people enough with my message and my journey to face their fears and change their approach to life.

How was the experience?

The idea of giving a TED talk as my 100th fear was something I thought about the moment the project went viral and I realized the power I had to inspire others. But to tell you the truth, I also thought that it was kind of a long shot and that I was maybe dreaming too big too soon. Nevertheless, I included it in the list as a possibility for my final fear. My husband loved the idea and decided to start doing what he does best: making things happen. So he researched all the upcoming TEDx events and their organizers. When we saw that TEDxHouston was just weeks away, we knew we had to get into that one, plus, they’re one of the best ones. We decided to contact the organizer and share my project with him. He replied right away expressing how much he loved what I was doing, but unfortunately they were only looking for speakers that had some sort of connection with Houston (which I didn’t).

At that moment I felt defeated, but I had two options: a.- thanking him for replying back and settle with his answer or b.- keep pushing. I asked myself: what's the worst that could happen and went with “b”. I wrote a huge email listing all the reasons why they should accept me to speak at their event; I went all out. A week later I received an invitation to speak at TEDxHouston 2015. For the first time in my life I experienced what happy tears feel like. I was crying not only because my project had made it to TEDx, but also because I followed my heart and didn't take "no" as an answer. This showed me the importance of believing in ourselves and to fight for what we want.

The rest is history! I prepared myself as best as I could with the best people around me. I met with the best behavioral psychologist, my SVA professor Dr. Tom Guarriello, who helped me better understand my fears and how to structure the presentation. I met with branding expert and founder of the Master program in Branding at the School of Visual Arts, Debbie Millman, who added some “Debbie drama” to my presentation and helped me with the delivery of the speech. My friend, Maria Silva, who designed the "stack" slides. And I also couldn’t have done it without the help of all my amazing friends who listened to my presentation over and over again until it was perfect, giving me such valuable feedback. I practiced tirelessly, while showering, cooking, cleaning, on the subway, in my sleep! I practiced so much I bet my walls know the entire script…well, at least my husband for sure does.

On Thursday, October 15th (my 4th anniversary with my husband) we traveled to Houston, and that Sunday I stood in front of 460 people (including my parents, my brother, my husband and my in-laws) and I talked about my project: 100 Days Without Fear.

I couldn’t have thought of a better way to end my journey. A journey that started as a way to become a braver person myself but unexpectedly inspired millions along the way. A journey that changed my approach to life, my career and my aspirations as a human being. A journey that will not end up here; I will keep going, keep growing, dream even bigger and inspire more and more people to join this fearless movement.

A thousand times THANK YOU for being there for me, for your support and continuous motivation, for your amazing ideas and for sharing your fears and dreams with me.
Now, it's your turn to start. See you on my next video :)

Special thanks to my brother Daniel Poler for creating this amazing video.

Day 99: Undertake

What's the challenge?

To start a community for people who want to  face their fears. We're working on developing an online platform where people will be able to upload, document, and share their stories facing challenges, which will serve as mutual inspiration for everybody. We'll also have local community leaders in different cities of the world organizing events to face fears collectively

What are you afraid of?

I'm afraid of failing on this entrepreneurial journey, going completely broke, not having enough people willing to participate in this initiative, and disappointing the ones that are. 

How was the experience?

Ever since my project was discovered by the media, I started to receive thousands of messages from people all over the world showing their interest in starting their own project about facing fear. I received all kinds of questions like: how do I make sure I don't quit? How do I find 100 different things? Is it affordable to do? And so on. So I decided to write a book giving my audience all the necessary tools to face their fears while sharing my own experiences. But as soon as I started writing, I realized that there needed to be a digital compotenet to this. I couldn't just talk about my tools, I wanted to give them a usable tool to really do this. Also, I wanted to give them a sense of community and constant motivation to keep going and never stop facing fears, something that a book couldn't really do. This is when I decided I needed to start a platform where people can get inspired by looking at others' experiences and reading about their personal advice. About the affordability question, no, it is not affordable to do such project, but this shouldn't be approached as a project like I did, it should be a lifestyle. So I want to be able to give my community the opportunity to join monthly events sponsored by us to face fears collectively in their own city. I used to be excited about facing my own fears, now, I'm excited to help others start their own journey. When we share our experiences we have the power to inspire the world, so let's do this together.

Join me by submitting your name, email and city where you live. As soon as I'm ready to go, you'll be the first one to know!

So, who's with me?

Join me!!!

Join!

First Name *

Last Name *

Email Address *

City *

Where are you currently living?

Woohoo!

We're glad to see you've decided to join the movement!

Stay tuned for future announcements as we get ready to launch the site.

See you soon!!

-Michelle

Day 98: Ask

What's the challenge?

To ask as many people as possible to send me their videos answering the following questions:
1. What's your name?
2. Where are you from?
3. What significant fear have you faced?
4. How did you feel afterwards?

What are you afraid of?

I'm afraid of being ignored or rejected. I'm afraid of not having inspired people enough for them to share their stories.

How was the experience?

As a way to put to the test the inspirational reach of my project, I decided to ask people to send me a short video of themselves. I was extremely afraid of facing a reality that would not meet my expectations. Right after I posted the request, I started to get videos from people all over the world who felt proud about the fears that they've faced. What surprised me the most was the amount of different countries from where people sent their videos from; from Poland to Mexico, and from Canada to Panama. In an effort to make this video even more inspirational and reach a broader audience, I decided to reach out to influential people I admire and ask them to send me their answers. Here's when I really faced my fear. It's not like I was rejected, I was pretty much ignored (and sometimes rejected too). Facing this reality check was a bit frustrating. Luckily, some really cool influential people like Chris Guillebeau, Jason Silva and Debbie Millman responded right away, demonstrating their interest in my fearless initiative! I'm extremely happy with the results and grateful to all of you that faced your fear of recording yourself and sharing your stories with the world. Stay tuned for fear 99 where this video will be displayed! 

Day 97: Rappel

What's the challenge?

To rappel down from huge rocky cliffs.

What are you afraid of?

Trusting my life to the anchor system and something going wrong.

How was the experience?

For this challenge, I contacted Discover Outdoors, a company that does adventure trips in New York and asked them to take me on their next rappelling trip. I had no idea what to expect and how scared would I be. Once there, we started to hike our way up, but as if hiking wasn't enough, they made us climb our way up which was extremely challenging and a fear by itself! I thought I was not going to make it but after a lot of effort and concentration I made it to the top. The view up there was breathtaking. Mark, Dan and Lane (our amazing instructors) taught us the basics, and then in efforts to be even more fearless I volunteered to go first. That's when anxiety started to kick in really hard! So they hooked me to the system and with no time to think it twice they asked me to start walking backwards towards the edge of the mountain! I must admit I was kinda' freaking out at that point, and looking down didn't help at all. I had no choice but to trust the system and start rappelling down holding on to that rope like if I'm holding on to my life (and I was). The first part was the hardest. standing on the edge was uncomfortable and nerve-wracking but to tell you the truth, as I descended I started to secretly enjoy it and feel very safe. Once I touched the ground I was excited to do it again and again. So we did it in 4 different spots; they all had their own challenges but doable! I enjoyed every second and I would totally do this again! Thanks to Discover Outdoors for such wonderful experience!

Day 96: Age

What are you afraid of?

I'm terribly afraid of aging and losing my physical beauty.

What's the challenge?

To collaborate with a make-up artist to make me look like my 80-something year-old self.

How was the experience?

For this challenge I was lucky enough to collaborate with Glamour magazine and their awesome crew. So I went to the Condé Nast studio where they brought an amazing make-up artist who took 3 hours to put 67 years of make up on my face. I wasn't able to see myself during the entire process. When Jaime was done, I didn't know what to expect, so they brought me up to the mirror where they did the reveal. My immediate reaction was a mix between tears and laughs. First I thought: This is not me, I'm not going to look like this, I'll age more beautiful than this for sure, I don't feel like myself at all. Then, I started to think: But what if I do? What if in 60 or so years I look like this? Will I stop loving myself? Will I be miserable because I don't look the way I would like to? Will Adam still love me even though I'm not attractive? What if when I'm this old I don't recognize myself in the mirror? Then I thought of everything that goes beyond the physical aspect and thought about my health at that age, my mental stage, my experiences, my story, the people that will no longer be in this planet, my grandchildren, and finally I thought of Adam and hoped that at that age he still shares his life and his heart with me. By that point, I couldn't stop crying. I've always been very young at heart and had a "childish" aspect to my personality that I don't want to let go. Physically, I've always looked younger than my age and I'd like to keep it that way!

When we were done at the studio, we all ran to my apartment to wait for Adam to come back from work and surprise him. We installed a couple of GoPro's and waited for him to arrive. As soon as he walked through the door I turned around and he was in complete state of shock. Then, he saw all the cameras and the crew and was really surprised not knowing how to act. He had a hard time getting used to my look, but kept saying that he would still love me when I look this old.
When the cameras were off and the crew was gone, Adam was still in shock and he told me that he realized how much he loved me by looking at me at that age and still feel that he made the right choice and that the feeling of love was the same as it has always been. So it worked, having his acceptance made me accept myself and gave me the confidence to let my outer beauty go trusting that I'm much more on the inside. For now, I'll keep taking lots of pictures and videos so I never forget how I look and I can share that with my grandchildren one day.

Then, the second fear arrived: time to take all the make up off my face...!!!

Day 95: Jump

What's the challenge?

To jump off a 25 ft cliff.

What are you afraid of?

1. The falling feeling in my stomach (which I really dislike)
2. Hurting myself when landing into the water from such height

How was the experience?

Since I was like 2 years old I've been going to this beach club in Venezuela, Puerto Azul, where they had 4 diving boards in the big swimming pool that I never even dared to go up the ladder. There was one diving board very close to the floor, that one I managed to dive from, but the rest, I never even tried. So this challenge is definitely one of the toughest ones so far. I decided to do it at a water park so my only worry was the height, not the danger of hitting a rock. My turn came and I was petrified, fear was taking control over me, looking down was terrifying but looking ahead didn't help either. I tried several times at my first attempt but simply couldn't. The pool guard was not happy with me and the people waiting in line started cheering for me. So I started counting with my fingers: 3, 2, 1 and I finally Jumped! Counting definitely helped!!! I can't believe I did it! I landed on my butt which kinda hurt, and the bruises do not look good, but the feeling of accomplishment is definitely worth it.

Day 94: Live

What are you afraid of?

Losing my parents.

What's the challenge?

To face the fact that they will not be around forever and write them the kind of letter that most people write when it's already too late.

How was the experience?

Ever since I was a little girl, I was too afraid to lose my parents and be left out alone in this planet. I would stay awake for hours, waiting for them to come back at night, until they were back home safe again whenever they had a dinner party or an event. And even today, living in different parts of the world, I check on them every night before going to sleep. I was always too afraid to be the independent person many expected me to be. After some time in therapy, I discovered that in my subconscious mind, being dependent meant keeping those who take care of me alive forever. This project made me realize, without a doubt, that I can be an independent woman living in NYC without any issue, which scares the heck out of me just to acknowledge that! I feel I'm letting go of the fearful dependent girl that arrived to this scary city a year ago, and that's pretty hard to accept. But, if there's one fear I needed to face before the end of the project it had to be this one, the biggest fear of them all.

Writing a letter to my parents imagining what life would be like without them, was a complete reality check. It made me aware of the amazing life they gave me and the importance of their lessons. It gave me peace and discomfort at the same time. It made me appreciate them even more. Most importantly, it gave me the opportunity to let them know how I feel and what I want from them while they're still around. And it gave me the courage to share this experience with all of you, so you can do the same. 

I decided to face this fear today, about to celebrate Rosh Hashanah (Jewish new year's), because we must make the most out of this gift G-d gives us, a new year full of blessings ahead. So, we must choose life with every decision we make and spend every day in the best way possible. Shana Tova to all my friends and family. 

Day 93: Zip away!

What's the challenge?

To do zip-line in between mountains.

What are you afraid of?

I'm afraid of falling.

How was the experience?

I always say that the level of the fear is relative to the expectations. So if you're confident about something not being very scary and when you get there frightens you more than what you thought, the fear level goes up. If you're extremely afraid to do something and once you do it wasn't as bad as you thought, then you'll say it wasn't that scary. In this case, I wasn't particularly too afraid to do zip-line, but once I got to Hunter Mountain and checked in with NY Zipline & Canopy Tours I started shaking!! I don't know if you can tell by the video, but I was about to back down and not do it! I have no idea what happened to me but I was experiencing true fear before zipping away. I knew that the more afraid I was the more important was for me to face the fear. So I went for it! I'm not going to lie, it was scary, but scary good, the feeling was amazing and I was fascinated with my point of view. It went very fast, faster than what I was expecting, but man I felt alive! Next stop: Costa Rica!

Day 92: Inspire

What's the challenge?

To give a talk at a mental health center to inspire patients to overcome their fears.

What are you afraid of?

Afraid of the unknown and afraid of rejection.

How was the experience?

Inspired by my friend's powerful 100 day project (@project1in4) about raising mental health awareness, and my desire to help more people before the end of my project, I decided to visit Vantage Health System to help their patients face their fears by telling them about my journey. Even though their fears might not be the same as mine, we all share the same feeling. I tailored my story according to the audience and tried to make it as relatable as possible. Caren Jacobs, the assistant director at the institution said "Your presentation gave them hope that fears can be overcome and that ordinary individuals can suffer from fear too", which proves that with little time, desire and dedication we can change lives if we truly want to. I was very afraid the audience would not be engaged or even reject me, but to my surprise, they ended up sharing their fears with me and appreciating my visit. If you want to help, you can donate here!

Day 91: Soar

What's the challenge?

To fly a plane.

What are you afraid of?

Crashing and adios Michelle.  

How was the experience?

First, let me tell you that I was more afraid of going by myself to this place by train two hours away from the city than flying the plane. My husband always comes with me to face the challenges but he couldn't this time and it was pretty scary to be far from the city and alone. Anyways, once I got to Take Flight Aviation, I was surprised with the beautiful planes they had. My favorite one was the baby blue Piper you see in the video, it's from the 60's!

Even though I wasn't too afraid of this challenge, when I jumped into the plane I got really anxious. I've never been in such a tiny plane before and it was extremely windy that day. Thank G-d I had Trevor as an instructor because he was amazing and really made me stay calmed throughout the whole thing. Plus, he kept me entertained telling me all about his amazing engagement story! So he taught me all the basics and let me do pretty much everything myself; I did take-off, flying and landing (or at least that's what he made me think!) because it's hard to believe I did all that. I'm a terrible driver in general, even with grocery carts, so I was pretty scared to have control over an aircraft, good thing there were no planes around to crash!

What an amazing experience, I'm so glad I did it!!! Plus, Ryan the owner, and the entire team at Take Flight Aviation were incredibly cool. I'm definitely down to doing it again. Next time with my husband! Now I finally understand my dad, who's been telling me his stories about flying ever since I arrived to this planet :) I did it dad!!!

Day 90: Dive

What's the challenge?

To dive with sharks inside a cage.

How was the experience?

A couple weeks ago when I was at the YouTube Space NY, I met Stephanie Nadia, another youtuber that believes in living life to the fullest; she's starting a new channel called Live On Purpose besides her successful make-up channel. Stephanie reached out to ask me if I could face her biggest fear with her, sharks.
I was honestly not going to face this fear but I loved the idea of helping another person face her fears (not that I'm not afraid of sharks, I was not personally interested in being up close to them). So I said yes and on Wednesday we went together to the Long Island Aquarium! The place was really cool and we learned a lot about sharks before going into the cage. Then, we got wet suits and water shoes and we were ready to dive! For some reason I got extremely nervous and before going in we were both freaking out! The cage started to descend and the cold water kicked in. Once we were under water the sharks were swimming around us but it wasn't scary, it was fascinating. I'm so glad Stephanie made me do this and it felt really good to help someone else face her biggest fear, now she started her own #100dayswithoutfear project! 

Day 89: Stand Up

What's the challenge?

To do a stand up comedy show.

What are you afraid of?

Rejection from the audience and embarrassment.  

How was the experience?

I don't know more than 3 jokes in my life and I only know them in Spanish, so when my friend Joaquin suggested that I do stand up comedy as one of my fears, my immediate reaction was: no way! Then, I realized that I needed to face it. That's when I contacted The PIT, a really cool place to do stand up here in NYC, recommended by my wedding crasher friend, Joanna. Luckily, they liked my project and invited me to join their Friday night lineup! So I got really excited and immediately really (deeply) nervous. I had two days to prepare my script and make some strangers laugh! I was freaking out! I couldn't sleep for those two nights but I knew my script was not too bad, my jokes were ok and the GIF's I did where kinda hilarious. I practiced like crazy but still took my notes on stage with me and my "LAUGH (please)" sign – which I did not use! Nerves started calming down once I started to hear others comedians speak so confidently to the audience, then, it was pure excitement about going on stage and telling my jokes. When the moment came, I started with my shaky-I-don't-belong-here voice, but little by little I started to feel more and more confident about my presence so my voice stabilized. People were laughing since my first poop joke! I didn't know if they were trying to be nice or if they really thought I was funny. That definitely gave me the confidence to keep going and even expand a little bit on shorter jokes I planned. I had a great time on stage and by the end I just wanted to keep going!!! Very thankful for this opportunity and glad I did it at The PIT with such an amazing crew, lineup and audience!!!

Day 88: Let it bee

What's the challenge?

To keep bees.

What are you afraid of?

Getting stung.  

How was the experience?

In an effort to overcome my huge fear of bees, I called the New York City Beekeepers Association and asked them to teach me about beekeeping and allow me to watch from up close how they do their job. They invited me to join them this morning at 6am to one of their rooftop beehives. I couldn't sleep just thinking about being around bees and staying calm so they don't sense my fear. So I "woke up" at 5:15am and went to the rooftop where I met with Andrew, Molly and Sasha over sunrise. They were telling me all about bees, including the fact that they are vegetarian so they are not looking to harm anyone; they're just looking to do their job (delicious honey). That definitely helped as I was able to stay relaxed when they all came out, plus I was wearing my special suit. Before leaving, Andrew thought it would be really funny to throw a "bee rain" all over me which scare the sh*t out of me. This was an amazing experience and I hope I can finally stay calmed when bees fly around me (no more public embarrassment as far as bees goes for now). Thank you guys!!!

To learn more about beekeeping in NYC, visit www.bees.nyc

Day 87: Crash

What's the challenge?

To crash a wedding in NYC.

What are you afraid of?

Pure embarrassment, or, having to take my video down like it happened!  

How was the experience?

As a way to face embarrassment, I decided to crash a wedding. For this challenge, I invited my friend and comedian, Joanna Hausmann, to do it the Venezuelan way with me. When I was 17 years old crashing a wedding was the normal thing to do, but now that I'm 27, that's completely out of the question, mostly when I don't know the couple or any of the guests. The plan was to visit every fancy hotel in the city and ask "where's the wedding?" till we find one that we can blend in. I was extremely nervous thinking of all the possible worst case scenarios, but to our surprise, the first hotel we visited was hosting a wedding, not only that, but it was a Jewish wedding! What are the odds? We found a seat for the ceremony and enjoyed every second of it. The music, the place, the people, everything felt very familiar. When my favorite part arrived, I couldn't help myself but to start dancing with the family around the bride to all the traditional Jewish songs. We congratulated the bride for her beautiful dress and exited the hotel feeling accomplished.
A few weeks later, I received an email from YouTube asking me to remove the video due to a privacy complaint! Then, the hotel calls me asking me to take the video down from all my social media platforms.. So, I re-edited the video, no privacy is being violated now, but you only get to see the before and the after! Sorry guys!!!

Day 86: Camp

What's the challenge?

To go camping

What are you afraid of?

I'm afraid of bugs, bears, darkness, and outdoor activities. 

How was the experience?
As you may know, I'm not very outdoorsy. I love nature, I'm just not that adventurer because you can't really control nature; I rather stay safe in a civilized environment. So, I decided to ask a couple of friends to face this fear with me in the woods, upstate NY. We rented basic tents and bought all the necessary supplies to spend a night under the stars. Everything was amazing; we explored the area, did some fishing, went in the river and finally cooked a lovely BBQ dinner. Then it got reaaally dark - the darkest I've been. Flashlights and lamps not only did not provide enough light, but also attracted bugs. I tried to focus as much as possible on the positives - friends, nature, s'mores, guitar. The scariest part was bedtime. I could hear every bug, tree, and mysterious sound outside my tent. Adam went to sleep right away and I stayed awake for another hour praying for not having bears or other animals around us. The morning was beautiful and peaceful, so we went slow-rafting which we all really enjoyed, till off course, I fell off the boat (I must admit that was pretty funny). I can't wait to repeat the plan when I have kids :)